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Please Send Me Absolutely Free

By smartasswoman
63K Followers• 784 Posts

I'm a kinky knitter. 🧶

For My Readers Who are Standard Members (my profile and pictures)

Relationship Types I’m Open To

Just FYI (again): What I'm looking for here - plus a message to those who are married, attached, or way younger than me

A side note. If you use the comments section as a bulletin board to post a picture of your dick, that's just bad manners and you're going to be immediately blocked.

63K Followers 784 Posts 2.1K Photos
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MN, USA

Message Box (public)

If you'd like to leave me a message - maybe something that's off topic from the blog post du jour - you can do it here. Just be aware that whatever you say is going to be visible to anyone who pops in here. If you're a gold member you can leave a message on this post: "Message Box" that will remain private.
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smartasswoman 37
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MN, USA

Message Box

This is my old private message box. Only gold members can leave a comment here, sorry. I'm going to create a new post where anyone can leave a message, but unfortunately they'll be visible to anyone.
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smartasswoman 0
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•21 hours21h

MN, USA

The Road Trip

Last Wednesday HWD and I flew to LAX. On arrival we hustled down to the arrivals level and found the stop for the Flyaway bus to Union Station. The bus arrived shortly after, and it was about an hour ride to Union Station. Then we found the platform for the Pacific Surfliner (many platforms at Union Station! I guess because there are a lot of commuter trains that go through there). We had an hour to wait so HWD went off in search of snacks. The train arrived...I was trying to hustle HWD to get on, he didn't understand that there weren't assigned seats. So we were almost the last in line and it was a challenge finding two seats together, but eventually somebody switched so we could sit together. It was about a three hour ride with MANY stops....
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smartasswoman 21 hours21h 24
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•2 Weeks2w

MN, USA

Wham Bam

(probably not what you're expecting from the title) I had an unprecedented continuation of decisiveness - this afternoon I got on the phone with the travel company I usually use and booked not one but TWO trips! I did do some research on trips offered by other companies, because I'll admit it, somethings the slow pace on OAT trips annoys me. Their prices are too competitive to overlook though - given that they don't charge anything additional for solo travelers. So - in September 2025 it will be a 15 day trip to Iceland. Originally I was thinking about going mid-summer, since the weather would be warmer and the days longer. But, in reading up on it, it sounds like summer is very very crowded with tourists. In September the crowds will dissipate a...
smartasswoman 2 Weeks2w 27
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•2 Weeks2w

MN, USA

Travel plans afoot

My last big trip was to Italy, in May 2023. I've talked before about how I decided to dial back on travel a bit, but I figured I'm due for something in 2025. I've had trouble focusing in on where to go. Generally with such decisions, I have to wait until a "just do it" moment strikes - I had one last weekend. I've been thinking about re-connecting with Road Scholar - I did a trip with them in 2018 to the French Quarter Jazz Festival in New Orleans that was quite fun and educational. Plus they have many options for U.S. travel, which seems like a lot less fuss/jet leg than an international trip. Almost too many options. Every time I looked at their site I would become overwhelmed. But Saturday I decided to zero in on New York City. I ...
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smartasswoman 2 Weeks2w 29
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•2 Weeks2w

MN, USA

Body Image Balm

As I continue to go through old posts, I found one from 2013 where I recommended a site called My Body Gallery. For those of us with messed up body image, it's quite helpful. You can input any combination of stats (height, weight, age, pant size, shirt size) and then be presented with pictures uploaded by other users who have the same stats. Lo and behold, the site is still out there. Although it used to have both men and women, now it seems to just have women. Maybe there wasn't enough participation from men? Or perhaps there is a different site for men out there now - a cursory google search showed a possible one on Elon's site (which I don't patronize any more). My stats: height 5'11 (actually 5'10.5 the last time I was measured) ...
smartasswoman 2 Weeks2w 23
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•3 Weeks3w

MN, USA

Patti Smith

I think I’ve shared this song before, but I love this version with a chorus. Yeah, this finally made me shed a few tears. m.
smartasswoman 3 Weeks3w 14
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•3 Weeks3w

MN, USA

Some peaceful content

I came across this artist a couple of days ago and was thinking maybe this is the kind of content I look at for the next couple of months. This, and pictures of cute dogs on The Dogist. And the New York Times had an article today about an elephant who can use a hose to clean herself off. This Lawrence Winram also has done pieces where he does decorative designs like this on tree trunks. He glues the leaves on with honey - all natural! I couldn't find any still pictures of those though. You could do a search for him on either of the Meta sites to see his reels. When I went to the yoga retreat in September, we actually did something like this. A group of us went for a walk in the forest, and the leader told us to ...
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smartasswoman 3 Weeks3w 23
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•4 Weeks4w

MN, USA

Hooha update

Note - I realize my posts about my various post menopause issues can amount to TMI, especially for men. I write about them as a PSA for other women. Particularly younger women who might later remember this advice if they start to have similar issues. Intercourse has been really uncomfortable for me for quite a while. HWD has been a peach about it, but I still wanted to address the situation. I tried a non-prescription cream that contained estriol (a very weak form of estrogen) - it didn't do anything for me and actually seemed to make my vulva feel more irritated. On the use it or lose it theory, I tried "training" the area by using a vibrator, but I didn't make much progress with that either. So finally a few months ago I decided...
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smartasswoman 4 Weeks4w 26
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•1 month1M

MN, USA

Some Good Health News, at least

Remember how I posted a few weeks ago that I decided to work on reducing my high cholesterol? I've tried statins a couple of times and they don't seem to agree with me. As part of my plan, I decided to have what's called a calcium heart scan. It's a CT scan where they look for hardened (calcified) plaque in the arteries going out of your heart. Basically the scale is - Zero is great 1-100 is decent, probably no need to go on a statin med unless you have genetic risks 100-400 is risky, probably calls for taking statins Over 400 is bad. As I've already mentioned, I'm kind of a hypochondriac and also prone to catastrophizing. So, based on the last ten years or so of poor cholesterol labs, I was preparing myself that maybe ...
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smartasswoman 1 month1M 25
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•1 month1M

MN, USA

Whining and news

The whining... I have a weird thing going on with my back. Shooting pains along the inside of my right shoulder blade. It started on Saturday, got worse on Sunday and Monday, no signs of improvement today. I know I'm kind of a baby, but at times I've been walking around the house making whimpering noises. Yesterday I managed to get a clinic appointment. The young doctor patiently explained why he didn't think I was having a heart attack (all I could think about was the articles I've read saying that a heart attack symptom unique to women is upper back pain - yep, I'm a baby and a hypochondriac). He ended up giving me a referral to physical therapy. I'm not sure if the PT will be useful since it sounds like their program is to focus on ...
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smartasswoman 1 month1M 36
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•1 month1M

MN, USA

HNW - Black for Halloween

First, a witchy song for Halloween. Note, the models aren't Nina Simone but I think they're channeling her quite well! And here's an edited pic from 2018... Funny story that I forgot to relay from the trip to Mexico. We got up one morning and my friend emerged from the bathroom and said "there's a giant spider in there, lurking in the corner behind the toilet". "How big?" I asked and she gestured a size with her hands that almost seemed...tarantula size? I didn't want to deal with it so I decided to visit the bathroom at the nearby lounge. We had coffee at the lounge, then went to breakfast. Came back, my friend peeked in there again and said, "It's still there. I think it might be a little scorpion?"...
smartasswoman 1 month1M 19
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•1 month1M

MN, USA

Uninspired lately, but...

Today I did come across this very funny song about the difference between men's and women's bathroom graffiti. There's even one teeny piece of it that is relevant to a recent controversy. 🤫 IYKYK.
smartasswoman 1 month1M 13
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•1 month1M

MN, USA

Welcome to My Ranch

In case you noticed my absence last week…I had a birthday trip to my favorite place, the spa/wellness resort in Mexico. Like my last visit, I invited along a bestie. She was ever so appreciative and I think I might have a new convert to the cult. This visit played out a bit differently than usual. First of all, it was VERY hot for October - high 90’s every day between about 10 am and 3 pm. This reduced my energy for activities quite a bit. It’s a large campus and when you’re facing the prospect of walking almost a mile in the hot sun to get to the activity pool for water aerobics, sometimes it sounds more appealing to stay where you are. Second, on the very first night there I got up in the middle of the night to pee…dark ...
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smartasswoman 1 month1M 25
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•2 months2M

MN, USA

HNW - Black and Pink

Random unrelated image just to move the main event out of the preview...this cracked me up. I have been re-watching the Max series My Brilliant Friend since I recently finished the third book in the Elena Ferrante series and have the fourth one loaded up on my Kindle. It's not always an easy watch because it takes place in a poor neighborhood outside of Naples and the families yell at each other a lot, haha. But the early seasons are a very realistic take on girlhood, how you can be friends with a girl but also compete with her, and go from best friends to estranged in the blink of an eye. What made me think of this was a scene where one of the girls gets her period. She had no sex ed and of course her mom never told her, ...
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smartasswoman 2 months2M 18
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•2 months2M

MN, USA

HNW - Masturbation

I hesitated on this one and finally decided to go back to the trusty archives. But first, a few diversionary photos. I haven't done a knitting update in a while! About a year ago I splurged on a set of mini-skeins in hand-dyed rainbow colors. This summer I finally have been using them to knit a lightweight striped sweater. It's turning out way more baggy than I thought it would, but I guess I'll go for the slouchy look with it. Then I realized Christmas is coming before I know it and I'd better get started on knitting at least one shawl for the seniors' program. I'm doing a super basic pattern so I can get it done quickly. I'm continuing with my goal of trying to learn to crochet - I did a really basic dining table ...
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smartasswoman 2 months2M 20
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•2 months2M

MN, USA

Yesterday's Party

Another edition of the daytime kinksters party yesterday, and this was a memorable one! I've written before about the friend group of three couples, where the women are all dommes and the guys are their subs. The three guys almost always pick an outfit theme and have matching sissy-ish outfits. Well, our moderator team got an email before the party from one of the women, asking permission to put together a proposal scene for the party. Of course we said yes! After our customary icebreaker game of one minute scenes, the first scene was with S. (the domme) and T. (her guy). She blindfolded him and put on noise cancelling headphones and then started inviting various people over to spank him (it was also his birthday). Meanwhile, while that ...
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smartasswoman 2 months2M 16
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•2 months2M

MN, USA

HNW - Off theme

I didn't have an opportunity to do a candle themed photo. But @CleavageFan4U 's mention of using one of the oldest photos in his archive sent me on a fishing expedition, and I decided to post one of my very earliest AFF photos. But first, a meme photo to keep the picture off of the feed: Sorry, @YourSassyPussy and @justskin1 - I promise I don't hate you! Also, a little health update. I finally had my post-ablation followup appointment with my cardiologist. The bad news is, after I went through a process of weaning myself off of the anti-arrhythmia meds, within a couple of weeks I had three a-fib episodes. I decided to start taking my meds again. At the appointment we discussed it - his view is that the procedure was a partial ...
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smartasswoman 2 months2M 22
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•2 months2M

MN, USA

My Least Ideal Person

My profile contains this statement: My least ideal person: Can't string enough words together for a respectable introductory email, is really into hunting, guns and motorized toys, is on the MAGA spectrum, is cheating on a committed partner. Note that I do usually try to frame things in positive terms - I’d rather say “I’m looking for a nonsmoker” than say “no smokers” or “smoking is disgusting”. But sometimes describing what you don’t want is a much quicker way of cutting to the chase. So today a fella messaged me and challenged me - “what do you have against hunting, guns, and motorized toys?” Here is how I responded. If someone is hunting and is eating what they kill, I actually have a certain respect for ...
smartasswoman 2 months2M 27
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•3 months3M

MN, USA

I Caved In

And did ConfirmID. It was somewhat impulsive. I had brunch yesterday with the dining-out Meetup group. My table got onto the subject of hacks and data breaches, and there was general agreement that "that ship has sailed" - i.e. everybody knows everything about us already. I got home and decided, what the hell. So now I can once again post pictures of things that seem too trivial to put into the comments - like these pictures from the restaurant we went to. It's owned by a young Hmong-American entrepreneur. On a trip to Thailand she enjoyed a somewhat weird dish, honey toast. It's a thick slab of toast, drizzled with honey, with a scoop of ice cream on top. She decided she wanted to bring the dish to America, and she also came up with ...
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smartasswoman 3 months3M 30
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