An Earwig Horror Story

My mind is reeling.... I may never be able to recover from this!

There I was....

Standing in the shower, cursing at myself because I just couldn't get the water temp regulated.

Too hot!

Oh my God, pellets of ice!!

Oh shit... Too hot again!!!

I toggled back and forth between too hot and too cold for a full minute before I noticed the light pink shower poof, dangling from the hanging shelf below the shower head, looked funny.

Kind of.... Dark.

"Huh... That's weird...."

I didn't really give it a second though, just moving along to wet my hair in slightly too warm water, hoping like hell I would adjust to the water temp at some point.

My back had been turned to the poof, so, when I swung back around to grab the shampoo, the now visible black pointy things, sticking out of the shower poof, gave me a start.

"What the heck? Was this like this before?"

I leaned in a little to get a closer look.

To my shock and horror, I discovered they were earwig horns protruding out from the poof.

Like a scene out of a Sci-Fi horror movie, earwigs began emerging, one by one from the poof.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!!"

Flinging open the shower curtain, I flung the shower poof into the sink and began to furiously search the shower curtain, the tub, and the walls for others.

Let's just say, that shower came to a close quickly.

I rinsed my hair, turned off the water, grabbed the other shower poof and exited promptly.

Now, I know you're thinking....

Phew!

She did it!

She made it out alive, disposed of the earwig contaminated poof, and life can move forward.

Yah....

No.

So, thinking I had contained the contamination and the horror show was coming to an end, I toweled off and reached for the panties and jammies I had hung from the towel rod next to the sink.

The sink....

Where the earwigs were....

I was pulling the panties off the rod and noticed something fall to the floor.

You guessed it!

It was an earwig.

The earwigs had migrated from the poof to my clothes and were now crawling around on the floor as they fell.

In all there were 6 of them.

I swear to God, my heart stopped, and I stood frozen for way to long....

Finally grabbing a big glob of toilet paper to pinch them up and toss them into the toilet, my heart was beating out of my chest and my eyes were tearing up.

Every stitch of clothing I'd brought into the bathroom went into the hamper and I walked naked back into my bedroom.

If I hadn't had one before, I now have an irrational fear of earwigs.

I'm pretty sure, I may never be able to forgert this...

Or use a shower poof ever again!!

Happy frigging Monday!