One day, a snake slithered into a rabbit’s burrow. She spoke with warmth, shared wisdom, and asked only for friendship. The rabbits, kind but cautious, welcomed her. They listened. They trusted.
But she bit one of them and disappeared.
The next day, she returned, pleading: "I am a snake. It is hard for me not to bite. But I am trying." Again, the rabbits gave her a chance. Again, she bit.
On the third day, the burrow was sealed.
This story reminds me of Maya Angelou’s timeless truth: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
For much of my life, I believed in extending grace, starting with trust. But trust is not blind. When someone reveals their nature, not once but twice, it is no longer about forgiveness. It is about boundaries.
We are not hurt because people are bad. We are hurt because we expected better.
So I have learned: Trust cautiously and observe actions. Offer grace, but protect your peace. Forgive, but adjust your expectations.
The first time is a lesson. The second time is a choice.
Have you ever trusted someone again, only to realize the first warning was the one to heed?
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18 comments
I think many people with empathy have been bitten one too many times.
@JN63JPN You're right—many who lead with empathy have felt the sting of misplaced trust. It can be disheartening, yet empathy remains a powerful force for connection and understanding. The challenge is learning when to guard it and when to offer it freely.
Learning when to trust, when to forgive and extend another chance and when to walk away is difficult. Partly because failed trust hurts and often hurts a lot. Some people "solve" this problem by never trusting and that is a sad solution.
Thank you for a good post.
@justskin1 Trust is indeed a delicate balance—giving it freely can bring great connection, yet losing it can bring deep pain. I'm glad this resonated with you. It's a journey many of us navigate, and learning from each experience shapes how we move forward.
I am way too trusting and way too forgiving and can't even count the number of times I've been "bit" because of it.
@CL_Love Trust and forgiveness are strengths, but they can also make us more susceptible to repeated hurt. It’s tough finding the balance between extending grace and protecting ourselves. I hope you’ve now found ways to safeguard your heart without losing the kindness that makes you who you are.
Thank you for sharing your perspective.
Yes. I give people way too many chances. I am trying to do better.
Hugs!!
@PonyGirl1965 I hear you! Recognizing that pattern is a huge step, and even just trying to do better is progress. It’s never easy to shift how we set boundaries, but it’s so worth it in the long run.
@sexyldy1000 You are so right about recognizing a pattern. The first is that you do it and then in figuring out a pattern of why you gave trust that failed. The first is relatively easy. The second can be difficult.
@justskin1 Absolutely, recognizing when trust has failed is one thing, but uncovering the deeper patterns behind why we placed that trust is a whole other journey. It takes patience and self-reflection, but understanding those patterns can lead to stronger, healthier boundaries moving forward.
I can definitely resonate with this. It took a while, but I have learned to recognize my boundaries. It's not that the same person burned me, but different people burned me in different ways. So now it's a matter of recognizing pattern I have done to allow those people into my circle.
Thankfully at this point, I can say with good certainty, I have a good circle of people at their appropriate distances.
@resant78 That’s such an important realization! Recognizing patterns and understanding how we allow certain people into our circle takes time and reflection. It’s great to hear you now have a solid, supportive group at the right distances—that balance makes such a difference.
Thanks for sharing your journey!
I have trusted many and been taken advantage of several times..
@1salesman3 I’m sorry you’ve had to go through that. Trust can be a difficult thing when it’s been broken too many times. I hope you’ve been able to find people who truly value and respect you.
@sexyldy1000 That I have, Always trying to help the ones who have taken advantage of me.
I can be to trusting at times well most of the time. Many times only to get let does then my trust for them is gone until they have earned it back, Good words to live by.
@MrRareity I hear you—trusting openly can be both a strength and a risk. When it’s broken, earning it back takes time, and not everyone is willing to do the work. There’s wisdom in knowing when to step back while still holding space for possibility.
Well said my friend, and you know that old saying " Fool Me Once, Shame On Me, Fool Me Twice, Shame On You"!! It's a great motto and we should always trust someone until it's time not too.
I hope your Thursday is filled with many fun and sexy thrills too..
@Tmptrzz Thank you, my friend! That old saying holds a lot of truth—there’s wisdom in knowing when trust needs to be reevaluated. It’s always a balance between openness and self-preservation.
Wishing you a fantastic Thursday filled with happiness and good energy! 😊
Once trust is broken, I rarely trust again. At best I will be polite.
@spunkycumfun I can understand that—once trust is broken, it’s hard to rebuild, and sometimes it’s not worth the effort. Politeness at least keeps things civil, even when trust isn’t an option anymore. It’s definitely a lesson we learn the hard way.