Periodically, I step back and ask myself that question.
Before joining this site, I never anticipated being part of anything like this. Frankly, I do not recall clicking a button to say Yes or providing any direct consent.
When notifications started arriving indicating who had viewed my profile or sent a wink, I initially dismissed them. But as they grew more frequent, I decided to investigate further. That moment of realization hit me: “OMG, what have I gotten myself into?”
Despite my initial shock, I considered myself open-minded. I delved into profiles, did my homework, and pondered how I could fit in. Crafting my profile, I answered questions honestly.
Although this platform is promoted for its sexual aspects, I used it as a gateway to meet people. I approached each interaction with an open mind, allowing things to evolve naturally through mutual consent.
Since joining, my focus has shifted. I relish the freedom to express myself comfortably, whether writing about personal interests, trivia, or even erotica and sharing my point of view.
I do not post with expectations of a specific number of view, comments or followers. However, when someone takes the time to visit my blog, I appreciate their presence. If online friendships evolve, it is a bonus.
So why do I stay here? Simply because I can. There is no obligation, I choose to remain and continue to use is a portal for meeting people.
Someday I will leave and it will be on my terms.
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34 comments
I think everyone on this site has wondered the same question, many times.
Including me. What I know for sure is that the blogs are what kept me here.
The everyday people that write the blogs.
What you describe, certainly resonates with how i feel.
@resant78 People share their experiences, insights, and passions. Keep exploring, connecting, and being part of the conversation!
My initial impetus was curiosity and a need to let my kinks roam. Finding blogs and stories was an unexpected bonus, and meeting people online was a pleasant surprise. At this point, I have no reasons to stay and none to leave.
I also have a nightlight in my hallway, which points to a bathroom. I rarely need to go, but I keep it lit — just in case.
@Paulxx001 Ah, the delightful dance of curiosity, kinks, and unexpected bonuses! It’s like life handed you a surprise party, and instead of cake, you got a treasure trove of blogs and stories. Who knew the internet would be the ultimate party favour?
Keeping that hallway beacon lit, just in case nature calls, is the responsible thing to do. You never know when the bathroom might decide to play hide-and-seek.
I found this interesting and unusual. It has a philosophical, sightly 'existentiall' edge to it. But it is a bit too rambling and unfocussed - it would benefit by identifying an end-point of some kind. So a bit more reflection might help - I hope so - Henry
@HankoSpanko You are entitled to your opinion and I respectfully disagree. It’s interesting that your comment contains spelling errors.
I totally agree with you that it's best to leave on one's own and not someone else's terms!
Self exploration, discovering own thoughts though listening to others, a pleasant journey to have, of course sometimes you may need to challenge your own perceptions, and prejudices, but isn't that what life is about?
@MelbLife Yes, those are all valid points. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
So true!
I think about leaving. Then I think about how much I would miss the interactions with you and my other friends. Here I can be me. In our community, I have to tone it down
@PonyGirl1965 Regardless of the miles that may separate us, blogs can enable friendships to form that otherwise wouldn’t exist. They also give us the opportunity to openly share our authentic selves.
I often wonder why I stay here and have questioned that more since our friends have been banned. I have enjoyed the blogs for a number of years and felt a friendship with a few bloggers and there are still several that I follow. That is my reason for being here.
@easyrider4008 I understand your sentiments. Blogs can create a sense of connection and community, even when physical distances separate us.
Very well said. I have read other comments here and I could not give better praise than others already have. Carry on living life.
@Rckt76 Thanks for stopping by and reading this post. Life is for living 😊
Hi sexylady1000, thanks for sharing.
we all leave at some stage, as we all stay for our own reasons.
Through that journey, never treat anyone as a priority that treats you as an option, here or in life.
@drobo5 Thank you for stopping by. I agree it is essential to recognize our worth and not settle for being treated as an option.
We need you here, as contrived as that sounds
@Krysnorse Not sure 🤔 what you mean but will assume it’s intended as a compliment.
@sexyldy1000 absolutely
I joined this site to meet people for sexual exploration in this alternative lifestyle after almost a quarter century in traditional monogamy. As a married woman, I had limited options for seeking out ENM partners especially in a small town where if we don't know someone, we know people who know them. I did find that the initial years fed a social need I had that I hadn't even been previously aware of. I later found the blogs and it not only fed that social need, but served as a creative outlet as well. I stay because I haven't found a better substitute for filling these needs, but I also recognize that it has met my needs less and less over the last few years. Agree wholeheartedly with your final statement/pic. I do often wonder if my day of being "just done" is sooner than I care to admit.
@CL_Love Joining an alternative lifestyle community can be a transformative journey. Whether it’s exploring ethical non-monogamy, kink, or other non-traditional relationship structures, these spaces offer an opportunity for self-discovery.
As you reflect on your evolving needs, remember that your exploration is valid, and perhaps your “day of being ‘just done’” is an invitation to discover new paths of fulfillment.
Thank you for sharing your perspective.
When I joined, I thought it was just to find a FWB. I certainly never would have pictured that I would still be here almost 20 years later!
I'm pretty sure if it weren't for the blogs I would have left here around 2012. That was the point where I stopped actively trying to meet people over on the dating side.
@smartasswoman it’s impressive you have been an active member for that duration!
The blogs seem to have played a pivotal role in retaining many members interest.
What a great read this morning, I can totally understand
why you continue to stay here. Over my twenty plus
years here I have met some great people. But it's
been less over the past ten years that is for sure.
I think we all know when it's time to leave here
and I know my time is drawing near. I hope
you continue to enjoy the site, and I am very
proud to have you as one of my online friends
here.
I hope your Friday is a great start to a wonderful
weekend..
@Tmptrzz Wow, didn’t realize how long you have been an active and contributing member here. I agree, we all know when it’s time to shut the door and move on.
I agree. And you never know who you meet.
@positively4you Or at least share some thoughts and laughs with.
When I signed up on AFF many years ago, I made a decision to be completely different than I’ve ever been my whole life. I decided that I would not seek out anyone with a picture, imagine that. I didn’t care what she look like how skinny or how heavy she may be my only real fear was she may be a lot taller than me.
I wanted to meet the person who was sexually ready for a discreet affair. I wanted every woman I was seeking to know that I was married, and I was hoping she was too, so that we could share our secret together.
Friends with benefits would take on an actual definition. Getting ready for each “lunch hour “ was so exciting and rarely did I know what this woman even looked like nor did she know what I looked like. It was just SEX…. Bring naughty like never before.
That was 10 years ago, and after plenty of partners, really good partners, I checked out. The experiences were incredible. The people, the places, the bodies, the faces, were all different.
Is it time to do this again? I think I already know the answer to that question or I wouldn’t be leaving this brief note.?
He’s back, where is she is the only question!
@Marvelousdix2 Thank you for sharing your unique approach and experiences. It's always interesting to hear about people that choose to leave and then are drawn back.
Thanks for sharing, I love your pov!
Have you “dated” anyone from this site?
@1st_downonu Yes. Have you?