Restful Sunday

Since I gotten my latest blood result on Tuesday, I also understand partly why I am so fatigue all the time. I need to slowly build up my protein level as well as more regular dosages of IV iron to help with my severe anemia. Plus I'm still in healing mode to wean off all that side effects from the strong antibiotics and painkillers after my gallstone issues, I am still not myself. My vision is floating, which also affected my sight of balance and a weird dull ache in my head, which I am not confident in going out alone on my own even if I can get someone to carry my electric wheelchair to the lift access level for venturing out. What if I fainted out there while riding my device? That's too dangerous for myself and others too.

I also started to cancel some events I was invited to for this month. I felt it is wiser to think of health & safety first. I do feel bad that some might think I do not have enough faith to go for church service where we can believe for healing. But I currently felt it is really not in my favour to over push my limitations or I might ended up seeing my Lord for real, you know what I means.

Meanwhile in my earlier post on a spooky matter at home... Yes, I decided to take action... especially after Hubby mentioned he suddenly felt a sense of dread too in the wee Sat morning while he was smoking just next to the red room. He felt he was not alone sitting there, with his right side back facing the open door leading into the red room.

So when my caregiver came to do housekeeping, I went inside the room and collected all the soft toys (the Thai doll, Thai pink bear, plus another two teddy bears/ a couple) and packed them into a box... while mumbling to the toys that there's construction outside the house, and so much dust will collect on them so I am keeping them to prevent dust from building up. Then I closed up the box and moved it to the store room.

Then I went back to my bedroom to rest a while as I have 2 university students coming for their monthly community project with us. They wanted to come on Sunday but I do not want to be disturbed on Sunday with more meetings. So I canceled my Sat event for a charity end of the year lunch appreciation, which also saved on time and money coz I will need to fork out $120 for the medical transport to fetch Hubby and me there. I rather let the students come for visitation and I buy them simple lunch. Well,they helped to buy chicken rice at $4 for each and we had a simple cheap affordable lunch together and they stayed over 2 and a half hours.

Once they left, I opened up my red room's balcony sliding doors... air the place and rearranged the laundry the caregiver hang earlier. Honestly, as both Hubby and I are aging and our appetites are getting smaller, we really see no point going for all these invitations to events where we spent so much on the transportation fees to get there, only to eat simple food that we can get from our nearby stalls. And at these events, we also don't really know the other people well. My mentally ill Hubby also find speaking with people pretty stressful for his condition, while I as his caregiver will not enjoy the event as I will be constantly on the lookout for him if he is okay out there with me. I rather we stay home and let people come to visit us so whenever he don't feel well, he can excused himself and go back to rest in the bedroom while I continue to entertain the guests myself with less worries. At our age now, we longed more for peace.

Once I'm done with everything, I went back to my room to take a short rest about 3pm... Quite weirdly, I woke up with panic attacks half an hour later... my heart was racing even wildly... I immediately spent the next hour in prayer listening to gospel music and singing in my heart till all that panic went away. Then I tiredly changed my clothing to go out for my dialysis session in the late afternoon about 4.50pm and slept so soundly throughout the whole session 5-10pm.

Came home about half past 10pm and Hubby baked some chicken nuggets and hotdogs for me to eat with my later dinner. I had a good appetite and finished off the whole plate of rice, which is rare! Then I took a short nap, woke up again about 3am but with lesser anxiety this time. After bingo on some latest youtube movies upload (I watched Alien: Romulus, goggle on the actor behind the hybrid xenomorph) then put on rain sound effect video and drifted off to a good sound sleep again.

After 5am, I woke up again to ordered breakfast for Hubby and I took a few spoonfuls of rice... then put on gospel music and continued my sleep. I know today I'm not planning to go for the service in person as I wish to rest more. Because the past week was full of meetings every single day till Sat afternoon... so I am really very tired. With all my committments to lessons, meetings and thrice a week evening dialysis sessions plus caring for my mentally ill and stroke Hubby and running the whole household, my sleep pattern is always chaotic and broken into so many short timings.

Sunday is the only day I can watch the service online from 10-12pm... then discuss with my engineer the tasks I have for him... Today he need to help me repair the washing machine tap and sink tap, changed the piping drainage system so my lower level neighbours won't complained of leaking to their unit again... he is also tasked to help me buy soft fruits like papaya and bananas for our weekly fruits schedule... as both Hubby and I preferred softer fruits to aid in digestion. For that, he said he will take the public bus to travel to another district where there are cheaper options for all these items too. He left about an hour ago.

I'm thankful for this helpful engineer tenant who has been such a blessing to us. finally I can catch up on my blog and then try to catch up on my sleep and rest later. It's raining heavily outside now. I can listen to the natural rain and thunder... and raindrops hitting against the windows for a restful sleep again. I don't even feel like eating... I just felt like catching up on my sleep.

And only Sundays can I afford to take longer naps in the day...