Seed time and Harvest

This weekend my Home church invited Dr. John Avanzini, who is a teacher of the Word of God that has focused on the subject of Biblical Economics for over the last 40+ years. He has been a spiritual father role to my pastor, and I too, used to learn about his teachings in my youth days in church.

So that's also why I don't like to get into unnecessary debts except for housing mortgage to own a place where I can also rent out the extra rooms for income, or taking study loans in the past to get up the corporate ladder when as an educator. I used to earn $3K a decade ago when my last post was a preschool Principal. Now same post can get $5K or more.

Church teaching shaped my character to be wise in my expenses. The only regret will be that I didn't have the means to learn to how manage my money more wisely with investment (using money to earn money) as I was the sole breadwinner to my mentally ill now stroke husband, and having fixed income can't really go far with expensive medical treatments for him or for myself when sometimes I need to go for endless surgeries. I'm just happy that my monthly passive income and other social benefits stretches through each month these days, I'm paying all bills on time with no issues of being in the red. That's what I am already glad for.

But that also mean I do not have extra to spare... if not for the social welfare short term medical coverage which I renewed every 3-6 months, the medical costs for both of us will be too much to handle. I was offered work from home full time by a charity organization but it was very low pay. And just that pay can easily get me terminated from the social benefits for my household. I can't afford that, each month our medical care easily goes up to the thousands... thus, I had to forgo doing a full time plus my own terminally ill health might not permit that either. I also cannot commit to full time work as there's good days and bad days which I can't predict.

So I'm only started to do freelance zoom lesson (2.5 hours + 1 hour pre & brief) for only $25 love token gift with another charity per lesson. This way, the love gift won't be considered as stable income as it's freelance. Working from home is easier for me as a trip out can cost $80 for me per medical van transport fee when I have no lift access to get out using my own electric wheelchair.

All my friends and even other social workers said I'm only wasting time doing so much for so little. My zoom audience are caregivers with loved ones having mental issues, so these people are also stressed up with their own mental health. A class size is ideal as 16-24 or so, the Co Host told me. I'm now considered as their volunteer trainer. So I'm also learning their modules slowly on my own as to use my experiences to share.

Other friends encouraged me to do a website and my own counseling as I do have the gift to speak to people, which account for my invitations to local media and other charity groups. But so far, I'm doing it for free to increase my network awareness of me. They heard my stories... and found that it inspire others too. But I do not know how to ask for financial blessings in my speaking. Or if there's people willing to pay for my speaking engagements. I may not be eloquent like others who have better upbringing as I'm only graduated with a secondary school formal education. It was my choice to work in the preschool that I eventually gotten 5 certifications till specialized diploma in management and I was struck with the viral infection at work (school camp 2012) that leds me to where I am now. No compensation and the school management left me for dead as I was a new principal on probation month when it happened.

But what all my friends and network shared with me that I'm always authentic in my sharing. Well, I have nothing to hide, I admit my wrongs and accepted my own weaknesses. Yet, I do have values and experiences that inspires others. Yesterday, I even comforted my new elder caregiver in her 60s who's having to deal with her hubby's cancer issues. She cried as I slowly encourages her how to use certain tactics to speak to her hubby, who is now in grief over his situation and acting out in anger towards her, shouting at her in public, etc.

I know my talents, I have a healing touch to others. Even as I volunteered when I feels better, bread and butter is still an issue for me. I'm not looking for great wealth (unless GOD gives to bless others through me)... but I wish I can do more to have more to bless my own family and people around me too.

I also blessed this elder caregiver (she's hires to help me thrice a week with my showering and basic housekeeping duties as I can't do much manual works with my low heart function now.) with food ration ( few packs of 5kg rice and canned food) for her family. She goes to her daughter house for meals and there's 6 grand children there.

Tonight I also asked my Late Brother's wife (SIL) to visit me as she's at her daughter's house in the west for the weekend to spend time with her grandson. I asked her to come pick up more food ration for her two other sons who lived in the east area before she go home to the east. My eldest nephew who is divorced is staying with her as she's also 60 soon. My 2nd nephew bought a flat nearby with his wife so my SIL can bring the other food ration to his home to feed the two cute granddaughters too. I just want to be a blessing to people around me, despite I'm not even working. I know young families can earn more than me but I wish to help them in every bit in savings that I can help too.

Anyway, I watched the sat evening service online while at my dialysis centre last night. I was happy to see my church doing a special 'seed time and harvest' building funds to do outreach to the nearby poorer nations. I already sow my tithes and special offering for this event last weekend. But somehow I felt like I wish to go for the special service today.

But checking in with my engineer, he's got work today. So no one to help to bring my Hubby and me to church. Plus my Hubby's electric wheelchair is spoiled last week, both can't go out on our own. Never mind, we will watch the Sunday service online later at 10am. My engineer said he will come home tonight to help fix the wheelchair if he can.

Tomorrow I got a new interview with another local media... just at the beginning of conceptualization an idea for the wheelchair users. I prayed it will go well and as it's one of the main English speaking media here, I know a lot more people might get to see me. Thus, I better work on my website asap. I hope from then on, I can be invited to more places for speaking engagements with a fee. So I can save up for my bible school next year.

I encouraged Hubby to plan his 'seeds' for financial blessings too. We will watch the service later. Ciao!