Excruciating pain

After my Sat night's dialysis session, I felt very tired and weak... I literally had to hold tightly to the handrail to make it home that night while walking down the two flight of stairs. I ate some of the chicken nuggets Hubby baked for me to eat with my small portion of white Jasmine rice.

I went to sleep soon after but woke up with such excruciating pain in my right abdomen area. Accompanied by intense backache and soreness, I could hardly sit up.

Ever since I had some pains after eating sambal chili from a duck rice stall 2 weeks ago, I noticed bloatedness in my belly button... with something like whitish growth... I thought if that is an abcess growing inside? This pain be coming and going for 2 weeks now. It has moved from the belly button to the right side. I suspected if it's appendicitis and decided to check in to the ER.

Sunday's wee morning was quieter. I soon gotten consultation and to my surprise, due to my past history of gastric sleeve surgery, the young consultant needed to get the senior consultant in as she cannot find my organs in it's original places. I see, so my organs are slightly shifted from that process.

She examined me and said the whitish bump might be a pimple... while the pain seems to located on the upper right area, which should indicate more of gallbladder issues, maybe a stone inside. But the scan will only be done on Monday. Meanwhile they pumped a lot fo antibiotics and painkilllers into me, which knocked me out seriously all day.

I only remembered waking up slightly each time the nurses came to inform me that they were changing another drip of the meds... then I was out again. I only woke up when the nurse told me to eat my cold dinner as I kept sleeping. I ate only the salmon and a bit of veggies, kept the honeydew fruit aside and went back to sleep again.

I woke up again in the middle of the night, with weird sensations akin to panic attacks... I realised my 3G4G mobile token no longer work on my laptop as the network has changed to 5G the past few months. I felt like having withdrawal from internet addiction as it sank in me that this is my prediction for the next few days being hospitalized.

The wailing screams of pain and loneliness from the elderly patients drifted through the dark corridors... making me uneasy as I didn't have music in my laptop to cover up the noise with my headset. I did use my phone earlier to connect to my headset but the battery drained fast. And it was taxing for my eyes to look at the tiny words on the phone for long. Nope, I didn't want to be bored to tears in this situation. In fact, I started tearing for no reason on my bed in silence. I felt so helpless and alone.

I decided I want to go home... I got up and spoke to the nurse sitting outside the corridor, that I wanted to leave on my own risk.. they have to get the permission from the Medical officers. Took about 4 hours to finish all the procedures before they let me go. I can tell you, I was also struggling to stay alert even though I was dazed with the feeling of being overdosed with all that meds. I tried to eat the honeydew fruit from the dinner to have some sugar energy to stay awake.

I finally made it home by 5am plus... and the kind older cab driver offered to push me back to my home unit on seeing how weak I was, as I kept dozing off in his car uncontrollably due to all that meds inside my system. I gave him a big tip for his help.

Honestly, I didn't take any of the meds they have given me when back home. Because I felt so drugged in this state already and my weak heart don't feel well. In fact, I am also having 2nd thoughts for my upcoming 6th arm surgery next week. Is my body strong enough for General anesthesia at all? Now just simple antibiotics and painkillers are causing so much weird sensations in me, how will GA be for me? Will I not wake up after that? I have became so sensitive to meds these days.

In fact, I am scared and fearful... should I still go for that 6th arm surgery?