Busy with Home Improvement Program

The Home Improvement Programme (HIP) in Singapore helps flat owners deal with common maintenance problems related to aging flats, usually above 30 years old units. The HIP helps you resolve common maintenance problems of aging flats such as spalling concrete. While the government will subsidise up to 95% of the cost (depending on the flat type), residents of the flats will need to pay the remainder. Housing Department Board (HDB ) flats typically undergo two Home Improvement Programmes throughout the 99-year lease.

Well, my flat unit is 34 years now... but the HIP was postponed due to the Covid period. I'm glad to have this HIP as I honestly can't afford to renovate my aging old unit which I paid for about 2 decades ago. I still have a 10 years mortgage balance from my 30 years HDB loan. A lot of my foreigners said that's not owning the unit as an owner... as the unit after 99 years lease will be returned to the HDB. We are just high end tenants in fact. (First world tiny land scarce country's issues)

The past few days I didn't come in to blog as I discovered a few of my earlier posts were denied or missing or not reviewed at all. So I decided to just post lesser then. I focus on shifting and packing all my stuff into various parts of the house, as the HIP also involved hacking away the 2 main toilets to re-tile and waterproofing, installing new sinks, toilet bowls & doors. But I miss the ones I installed in my master bedroom with pink theme. Now all gone... so sad.

There was a new feature called Enhancement for Active Seniors (EASE) with updated 2.0 version for those who are aging and needed extra subsidized home modifications so that elderly persons can live at ease in their own homes. Even though it's meant for 65 years and above, requires assistance for one or more of the Activities of Daily Living (ADL)... I'm fortunate that taking care of my FIL previously, they allowed me to apply for this EASE program in 2022. Now the new 2.0 version that came out in April 2024, I'm glad to be the first batch to try out more home modifications. Plus now Hubby and I both are certified and needed help with the ADL, we can happily applied for all these to make the house more conductive for our retirement.

My main concern is to keep Hubby stable while there's so much changes as we needed to empty out our master bedroom and go sleep in the partitioned living hall for 2 weeks during HIP. With his limited capacity as someone with stroke, the shifting all ended on my shoulders. Temper does flies at time as he still expected the normal pampered care from me to do everything on my own and still meeting all his wants or needs. I came to a point where I was so exhausted liaising with everyone to help me shift, clear or pack... where he only sat there and complain about every changes... that I just told him, ENOUGH or I will just walk out of this house... then let he see how he's gotten managed. That shut him up for awhile!

It's frustrating while I'm trying to make the best of every situation while he only sat there murmuring and complaining non stop... And as some of the areas of the house were blocked up for renovation, our shared space gotten smaller and more conflicts. Hubby is a smoker but I'm not. My health is poor so I have to keep reminding him to close the kitchen door when he's smoking there.. as my living hall isn't too far away and the smoke gets into the aircon hall, then the smoke suffocated me and I coughed like crazy! He's already not helping much so I only can keep reminding him not to give me more works... as I need to close the aircon, aired the whole hall and in the process, lifted up the folding sofa bed to open up the other side sliding doors to let the air flow in. And he practically smoke 3-4 sticks every half an hour whenever he's awake. That's about 2 packs of 40-ish cigarettes a day! That's almost SGD $1K a month. But if I don't let him smoke, I might get hurt from his temper tantrums.

I started him on Addiction program to cut down, but he seemed to smoke even more with the nicotine pads & chewing gums from the hospital. These days I'm trying to get him to join some mental wellness activities to keep his mind from smoking but he of course doesn't want to join as he don't like others telling him what to do. And if he felt triggered, I will be the one getting the brunt of it when he's back home. So somehow, I rather ignored his smoking habits than getting his temper thrown at me.

It's tough when I'm the one having to deal with all the bills and debtors. Even sometimes when I prepared meals for him, he will want other food. Most of the time, when I buy fresh good two portions for us, he ended up eating his and half of mine... coz I eat slower and when left aside awhile, he will just assumed I'm not eating anymore and eat the balance. Or when the catered meals came late, he will throw temper and whatever I kept aside for myself later, I will have to give to him so he won't get angry. Then I have to wait for the catered meals which came late and no longer fresh too, sometimes the meals turned bad in this heat. Yet these are subsidized meals for the poor so I can't complain so I ended up just eating a few spoonful of rice with the protein or just eat some crackers instead. While his shares were thrown away as he already eaten better quality of food.

With this HIP, most of my other neighbours either went for holidays or gone to stay in hotels to avoid the dust. My Hubby kept complaining and yield for the comfort too. Which I told him honestly, if he don't smoke, the money can go to living in a hotel for maybe quite a few days too. He rolled his eyes at me and kept quiet. See, he's only care about his needs or wants, doesn't think us as a team or to think of me... Sometimes, I really don't know what to say anymore.

Maybe my fault too for being his enabler but what else I can do? He has schizophrenia so I also won't want to trigger him to the point that he do something that hurt me or himself. So I'm always the giving in one. Sometimes I get really tired, wondering why do I always have to be the GOOD one to give and give and give? Damn stupid in many people's opinions... yet there are also some who came to me, telling me they're inspired by my LOVE & CARE for my Hubby for almost 3 decades.

And a part of me also admit that, when Hubby is sleeping (like now)... it's so nice and peaceful.. knowing he did has a good life coz of my protection and provision. Maybe these HIP teething issues are making him so cranky lately, so am I too as there's so much to co-ordinate. He did try not to finish all the good food and leave behind a bit for me tonight, after I made his favourite Curry Chicken to eat with his favourite bread. Well, this is a man who have stayed by my side all these 29 years & counting. I still love him in his strengths and weaknesses too.

I only prayed for a smooth HIP progression till completion. May we find more favor with the HIP team so the end products will be great for us to use till the end of our lives here. We're not planning to sell but retire in peace here.

Meanwhile I still have 10 more days of HIP to go!!! After that, another huge round of cleaning and unpacking all the stuff again! Yikes!